Questioning

Lately I was having troubles with performing and finding deeper meaning in contemporary dance practices in general. Havent been able to visit any more dance shows, cause all looked and felt the same. Same movement style, same expressive qualities, kind of same aesthetics all over the Europe. I did have the opportunity to take part of larger european dance community from 2010 - 2012. Have seen more then 50 performances per year, within international scope. Provocation, political connotations, highly developed artistic ignorance of the performers and cruel reality of politics of exclusion in application processes has driven me far away. My artistic soul was crushed, dissapointed, above all very much bored. Where did the authentic meaning of dance itself dissapear? I guess im just looking for other formats of dance and dance presentations, which tunes more with the nature& environment around us. I am curious if contemporary dance which is integrated into existing performative scheme in EU still has any potentiality in terms of being alive and shining, i guess it has potentila more in context of being a rich research field which can enrich existing scientific fields, such as all social sciences, neurology science, medicine of movement... The questions as such is what is professional and why? Which body is more present and what is presence and for whom? Who is putting artistic works in certain contexts and why do they get special meanings? What kind of power struggle is going on on artistic markets around all over the world? And why somebody who is subtle, tender, gentle, and kind can not survive in this machine?